Mobile Phone Wankers

I thought the days when people talked inappropriately loudly on their mobile phones had gone. I saw a lot of it in the 90s, when the phenomenon was new - you wanted people to see how cool you were, that you were following the tech trends. But now, in an age when there seem to be more mobile phones than people, why do some people insist on drawing attention to themselves when they're on the phone? All it does is annoy people like me, who have to fight to restrain the urge to grab the phone and shove it up the user's arse. I often throw my "keep it down, you tosser" look at offenders, but it usually does nothing - they're either so wrapped up in the conversation or so determined to look like a twat, that they don't care. Maybe it's the fact that we have shorter fuses these days that makes us want to punch them in the face?
So here's what I'm going to do next time I encounter a shouty mobile user: wait till they finish the call (after all, it's polite to) and ask them the time by shouting the question at them: "DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?!" When they ask why you're shouting, just say "Sorry, but the way you were talking on the phone, I assumed you were talking to a fellow deaf person."

Talking loudly on mobile phones - it's not big and it's not clever.

Note to Americans: mobile phone = cellphone; arse = ass/butt; twat = dickhead.