Random Food for Thought

When did hotcakes become the benchmark for fast moving consumer goods? More to the point, what is a hot cake? According to an online dictionary, it's a - probably American - term for pancakes. So why isn't the phrase "selling like pancakes"? Because it sounds daft, that's why. And what if you were in the business of selling hot - or pan - cakes? What would they be selling like?
What if you worked at NASA and were designing a new primary thrust unit. You got stuck on a tricky bit and called your supervisor, who tells you "come on, it's not rocket science." The only possible response would be "I think you'll find it is."
When do you know if someone is a pain in the neck or a pain in the arse? Is there a line they have to cross? Because surely a pain in the arse is worse. Harder to rub in public too.
As we learn about all the things you can do in the world of blogging, We promise to make our blogs more interesting. We'll devote more time to them; there'll be links and videos and all sorts. Not licorice ones.

Retail Advertising

Hands up if you can guess what's getting on our tits this week ... you up the back with the Bollocks t-shirt on? Yes, retail advertising - well done. More specifically, this kind of retail advertising:
"42-inch Plasma Screen TV, reduced from $4000 to only $3000. You save $1000!"
Here's where we have the problem: you're in the market to buy a 42" Plasma Screen TV, right? Your budget is $3000. You see this one advertised and you think "great, it was four grand, now it's only three, so I can afford it." But where's the $1000 you 'saved'? I'll tell you where it is - it's nowhere, that's where. It never existed. You only had $3000 and would never have bought the TV at $4000. You never had the extra $1000, so you never saved it. It's the same with clothing, footwear, computers, furniture and cars, i.e. "Toyota Chav, reduced from $19,990 to $18,990 - save $1000!" Maybe it's the same thousand dollars ... either way, we're sure you'll agree that this type of retail advertising is a load of old tossycock.

Apostrophe abuse

What's bollocks this week? Apostrophe's. Sorry, thats apostrophes. I mean that's apostrophes. Apostrophe abuse is everywhere these days and the sad thing is that the rules are really simple: it's usually about possession, as in the dog's bollocks (the bollocks belong to the dog) or contraction, as in that's bollocks (that's is the contraction of that is). One of the most common cock-ups is the confusion between your and you're. Remember, you're is a contraction of you are; so if you think someone is a twat, you'd write you're a twat and not your a twat.
Have you seen the shops that offer great prices on TV's and VCR's? Pluralising a word doesn't need an apostrophe. It's not Hits of the 80's, it's Hits of the 80s.
We saw a t-shirt for sale in a Queensland sports store that has a gentle dig at rugby league referees. The idea is sound but the execution is a joke: the shirt has, in capitals on the front, "YOUR OFF YA HEAD REF!" I kid you not. What kind of muppet would have signed off on that before it went to print?!
The fact that these mistakes aren't corrected, and also the increasing popularity of emailing and texting, where words are truncated and grammatical short-cuts taken, leads us to think that one day apostrophes - and other punctuation - may become obsolete. That'll be a sad day for the English language.
The bottom line is that it's laziness; just think it through before you write it down. And if you're unsure whether you need an apostrophe or not, drop us a line here at bollocks.com.au and we'll be glad to help. Think of us as the apostrophe cops or the punctuation police. Together, we can rid the world of apostrophe abuse once and for all!

P.S. Does this only happen in English ... or are Cedillas, Accents and Diaereses abused around the world? Is there a French equivalent of this site - bolleaux.fr? - where someone is blogging about French accents being left off their words? Just a thought ...