On Hold

They call it progress but technology is for the most part a pile of crap. And most of today's customer service can also be put in the 'crap' pile. I could leave it there and everyone will know what I'm talking about but for the purposes of padding this out a little and airing my grievances, I'll elaborate.

Today I had some technical difficulties with my internet connection and called the service provider to assist me. I was greeted by several different recorded voices asking me to say my phone number into the phone. After five attempts it accepted. Then I was kindly informed by another voice (this time a charming American accent) that my call would be answered in around twenty minutes. So nothing to do but sit back, relax and enjoy the musical stylings of ... Oh that's right. you don't play real music. Instead it's a mix between Kenny G and SARS. To mix it up a little you'll play what can only be described as the deformed twin of Muzak. (How did they ever go bankrupt with every hotline on the planet playing it incessantly?)

To their credit I was relieved of the pain in my ears after only seventeen minutes. A guy answered who I'll call Jim-Bob because I can't remember his real name. Jim-Bob was definitely friendly but so friendly that it bordered on creepy. He started by taking my name before commenting that it's a very nice name and very short and fitting. I then told him my problem and asked if he could help. He assured me he could because this is what he enjoys and that he will help me with anything I need because we're buddies.

I double-checked the 1300 number I had dialled to make sure it wasn't a man-man chatline. It wasn't which made it more disturbing.

In amongst the weird chitchat Jim-Bob was quite helpful but sometimes I wish people would quit with the formalities and get to the point. He kept telling me how he could do something and would do something and how happy he was to do it. As Elvis wisely sang, "A little less conversation, a little more action please". 

My question is, who trains these people to be so chummy? Or was he just a happy man? My guess is the latter because I called another internet helpline a short time later and the lady who answered was quite blunt. Come to think of it she was fairly rude and sounded bored; maybe it was her last day on the job.

If only more people had her attitude.