Harakiri or Kekiri?

In news this week, a Hong Kong man has attempted to kill himself by entering a cucumber into his anus. 62-year old Chin Wei stated he inserted the elongated fruit as a self-improvised method of seppuku or harakiri - the ancient Japanese ritual in which one sinks a short blade into the abdomen.
Or at least that's what I'd have said.
When questions inevitably began to be asked, the truth wouldn't have been so easy to spit out. Especially when it was the man's daughter who found him. You can imagine that conversation as she comforted him at his hospital bedside:
Daughter: So why'd you have a cucumber sticking out of your arse earlier?
Chin Wei: What? Sorry? Me?
Daughter: Yeah you. You had it well up there. Anything I should know?
Chin Wei: Ohhh, nooooo nothing.
Daughter: You're not ... are you?
Chin Wei: Trying to kill myself. Alright? Shall we leave it, yeah?


Even if it was a variation on harakiri, it's a little far fetched considering it was often reserved for samurai who chose to die with honour instead of being taken by the enemy. Not that much honour in being found dead with an uncut eye mask sticking out of yourself. Also, did he really think a cucumber was going to do the job? Blunt, soft and edible are all descriptions not commonly fit for a weapon capable of murder so why did Mr. Wei think differently?
The main thing is he's okay. Thank god his daughter found him in that pickle, or found that pickle in him.